The Shame of Unrequited Love

Everyone has seen it and most of us have experienced the feelings of embarrassment or shame of caring for someone and not having it returned.  It’s strange that we feel shame – after all, the ability to love and care is an asset. It is a good thing to be able to love. So, why the shame?

The shame comes from the lack of reciprocation.  When love isn’t returned, it changes from a wonderful feeling to a dreadful feeling; as if we have been exposed for doing something wrong. Loving without being loved in return can feel like a dumb mistake. It’s as if we put our hearts, our time, our hopes and our energy into a relationship that is diminishing rater than nourishing.

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