Upgrading Local Beauty Pagents

Just a watermelon seed spitting minute!! Yesterday’s Wall Street Journal had quite a snarky article on how national beauty contests are poaching the local festivals ( think Sea Goddess from Lobster Fest in Rockland, Maine). The problem seems to be that there is now a lack of contestants for the national competitions. Therefore, some non-purists want to open national pagents to the locals.  Of course, this causes a backlash from pagent elitists but I say, “Let’s be inclusive.”  Bring on watermelon seed spitting as a talent, drag that prize poultry on to the national stage! We are sick of classic piano sonatas and suburban modern dance.

The WSJ article goes on to interview people (dare we call them snobs?) who insist that national contestants are a very different caliber of runway walker from your local Princess/Goddess/Dairy Queen.  For example, the national girls know how to use Firm Grip, that sticky stuff guaranteed to keep your tush glued inside your swimsuit. What do you think a sea goddess uses – staples?  How hard is it to spray your rump with Firm Grip! Don’t underestimate local talent. I grew up in New Jersey and it was filled with local talent (many of whom carried ice picks) but some wore bathing suits. Some did both. I remember beauty contests at Columbia Park Cabana Club in Union City, New Jersey. Gail and those other bathing beauties took it very seriously. So what if they didn’t have hair extensions; they knew how to tease their bee hives into a frenzy, destroyable only by mixing large quantities of water into the hairspray unti lit collapsed. So what if they shaved their bodies ( face down to ankles)  rather than going to salons for waxing. It saved money that could be used for the gowns.

 The article goes on to say that the price of gowns might be prohibitive to local girls but not in New Jersey.  You could get a great New Jersey gown almost anyplace; you didn’t even have to go to a dress shop.  And the talent, you ask?  Skip classical music; even skip banjo.  Think twirling batons and knife throwing, far more useful every day than a operatic ditty. Let’s give the home girls a chance………

If you are a clinical supervisor, professor, or early career therapist, I know that you will find my new book, “What Do I Say?” to be an essential addition to your library.   You can order a copy at  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=what+do+i+say+edelstein

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