Linda N. Edelstein, Ph.D.

Central Midlife Question

by | Aug 10, 2012 | Midlife | 0 comments

Most people have a picture of the kind of life they want to know before they die. How close we come to that that picture becomes the measure of the quality of our lives. Of course, we cannot change the way that the universe runs; it remains indiffere

nt to my desires and yours but… some of life is in our hands and, at midlife, this becomes very significant.

If we do not act, we will be left with the feeling, “Is this all there is?” Have I been cheated?” We do not want to feel that way. What can you provide for yourself that gives you enjoyment and purpose? In addition to the responsibilities that society has given to us, and that we

have accepted as responsible adults, we are allowed to have goals of our own.

We are all engaged in a struggle to become authentic; a personal struggle to endlessly define our selves.

Enjoyment does not come from being in control, but rather from exercising control in different situations. BUT we must give up the safety of protective routines. Most of us need less self-scrutiny, less ‘is my hair okay?’, less worry. We need to leave the self- consciousness behind.

Here are some tips:

Ask yourself: What do I want?

Set some goals; small goals

Become immersed in the activity

Pay attention, concentrate, enjoy the sustained involvement in the activity

Stay in the present

Freud wrote that children at play create a world of their own; as people grow up, they cease to play.

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