Linda N. Edelstein, Ph.D.

After attending a friend’s big birthday party, my daughter Keira mentioned that the young woman’s mother was not supportive.  As a knee-jerk reaction, always protective of moms, I said (without thinking), “Oh, she loves so-and-so.  She’d lay down on the railroad tracks for her kids.”(My fondness for analogies can get out of hand) 

Keira gave me that squint eyed look that smart daughters give to mothers who speak out of turn and said, And how often do you think that will be required?  What about the lack of daily support?”

It’s a good point.  It’s an excellent point.  As parents, we do not build relationships with the grand gesture.  We build relationships with our children during every conversation, at each meal, during each phone call, with each laugh or hug, and by trying to understand who they are and what they need.  Of course, this story goes way beyond parents and children. Our lives are collection of daily acts.  Maybe there will be an heroic gesture thrown in but, mostly we build our lives with day by day, ordinary interactions. Now that I think about it, this doesn’t even have to be human thing – we don’t become educated by reading one gigantic book. Even plants – beautiful flowers don’t grow because they were showered by one impressive thunderstorm and then neglected for the rest of the season. I know, you get it – time to stop with the analogies………

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